To change or not to change...
Updated: Nov 15, 2019
At the beginning of the year, like everyone else on the planet (probably), I decided that 2019 was the year I was going to make some changes, some big changes. And, in the grand scheme of things in my little world, I did.
The biggest change I could make was leaving the job I had been in for the last 23 years. Moving away from a business that had been a home and family to me since I was 19 years old. But, as I kept telling myself, I needed to make positive changes, and the long hours and stressful days were not making me happy and once these situations start affecting life at home then something has to give. So, what was I going to do after this big change? I was going to write. I was going to concentrate on my blog, write and create witty blog posts that were wildly shared and commented on, increase my social media presence, gain thousands of Twitter followers, become an Instagram influencer and write my first best selling novel. The truth. I stayed with my previous company on a two day freelance basis, those two days became three, then four and then, wouldn't you know it, four months later I am back in the same position with a neglected blog, three not very interesting posts on my Instagram page and a Twitter account that's losing more followers than it's gaining.
Fear not though, this is not a 'down on myself' post. After what has been a quite challenging week it finally dawned on me today that I am in control of all of this and it's my job to put all of the above right. So, this evening I wrote down my goals, what do I want to achieve? This is what I came up with:
Develop my blog
Read more books (especially my TBR pile)!
Start plotting and planning the book idea I have had swimming in my head for the last year
Write more - the more you write, the better you become - that's my hope anyway
Make a living from doing something that I love
And so there they are, and now written out in the public domain for all to see, which means I have to do them, right? Well, do you know what? I think I just might... this time. I've definitely made a start and actually started plotting out the story of this idea in my head, I have a (very) draft outline and characters. Of course this is just the beginning of a very long road ahead with no guarantees at the end of it, but hell, I've done it, I've actually made a start rather than sit watching Love Island. Plus, I am also adding a new blog post - double stars for me this evening. I could complete the hat-trick and finally finish the book that I have been struggling with the last few weeks. One step at a time maybe...
Reflecting back on my decisions that I made at the turn of the New Year, especially now we're nearly half way through 2019, I have realised I'm not the failure that I thought I was in the early hours of this morning. I made a big jump, one that I had gone backwards and forwards about for a long time, but I did it. I am reading more and I'm reading books that I wouldn't normally pick up (more on that in the next blog post), and slowly but surely I am making steps towards a different working life. It was never going to be a quick fix, nothing in life ever is, but I'm prepared to put the work in.
To help develop my writing prepare yourselves for more indulgent posts like this, I don't know if anyone does ever visit or read my posts but it's not going to stop me, not this time anyway. So please bear with me, indulge my ramblings, I hope I can make them interesting enough for people to come back and see what else has been happening in my anxiety filled head.
Until next time...