A small case of envy...
One thing that is constant with my reading habits is my ongoing envy for the writers. I'm sure we have all finished a book at some point and wished to have been the one to write it. For me, it's not so much the completed, written book but the whole world and cast of characters that they have been able to create.
I have spent a lot of time recently reading fantasy books and it never stops astounding me how these talented authors have put together these amazing characters and fantastical worlds, each with their own rules, histories and back stories. It truly is an amazing gift that I wish my brain worked the same way.
Now, without completely over simplifying the whole process, because, let's face it, if it was that bloody easy we'd all be doing it, you need an idea and a good bit of planning. Easier said than done I feel, my ideas are crap, to put it bluntly, and regular readers will know my attempt at planning is non-existent. But what if, what if I could actually do it? What if I could stop doubting myself, just for once in my 44 years, and put my mind to it and actually give it a good go? One of my biggest problems is that I talk myself out of anything before I've even made an attempt. 'I just don't have the time to fit everything in', 'my idea sounds too much like so-and-so', 'I can't write anyway, it always sounds so rubbish I make myself cringe', 'I'm juggling too many things to fit it in', 'it's too risky at the moment, I'll think about it again in a few months'. Does this sound familiar to anyone else?
When I think back on all the things I could have done or should have done over the years only to have an attack of confidence crisis - the things I have missed out on. But, that is not all it takes, confidence is key in everything we do but we're talking about years of work, ideas, planning, re-writes, checking, editing, proofing, more rewrites and on it goes. And this is before actually getting the book published! We're talking about commitment, probably more commitment than you have for anything else in your life. Commitment and passion for what you are doing.
After realising all of this, my admiration for these writers grew again. Ideas, planning, writing, re-writes, editing, proofing, love, commitment and dedication, the kind that takes over your life. Thinking of all of these elements just makes me appreciate all of these books even more. So, a thank you to these amazing authors, thank you for your time and commitment in creating these characters we love and the worlds we want to be part of. Thank you for giving me that little bit of inspiration to want to try myself. Has this cured my envy? Maybe a little bit... until the next book... ;)