• myhappyreads

My mid-life crisis continues...

And so it seems my mid-life crisis continues. At the age of 43 I have decided the only two milestones I have to look forward to are turning 50 and the menopause, whilst at the same time having no clue what I want to do with my life! It seems I am still asking myself that question - 'what do I want to be when I grow up?'

When I was younger I had various dreams of what I wanted to be, firstly I wanted to be a hairdresser but someone told me I had to take GCSE art so that idea soon went out of the window. I then wanted to work with children, this notion lasted about as long as a cup of tea and anyone that knows me now would find this particular career choice highly amusing. My longest career ambition was to be a journalist for Smash Hits magazine. So many daydreams about interviewing my favourite pop stars where they would then fall madly in love with me and we'd run away to live happily ever after. Obviously, this didn't happen...

Back to the present, I'm still searching for that 'thing', and to be honest, I'm not even sure what that is! Has Lockdown and the pandemic helped with these feelings? Absolutely not. Probably like everyone else in the country, I feel like life has been at a standstill, everything we know has changed and I haven't left my house in what feels like a year. I've lived in joggers and out of shape t-shirts whilst my waistline and backside have expanded. As the weight has slowly crept on, my mental health is slowly drifting away.

I read recently something that Kelly Brook said, 'I don't want to look like a 20-year old, I want to look like a good 40-year old'. You know what, she's absolutely right! So, whilst my inner 20 something year old voice is questioning everything to do with my life, my outer 40-year old body needs a bit of help. Because of this, I've decided to go on a journey of self-care. All of the things that I have tried to make time to do for myself, I'm actually going to do it. So what are your big plans, I hear you ask? Well, first up, this extra weight has got to go both from my waistline and the weight of the world that I feel like I'm carrying on my shoulders. Exercise is key and good for the mind as well as the body. Can I introduce regular exercise to my day? I'll keep you posted. Sleep - I need to sleep more, no more phone scrolling before falling asleep. Lastly, making time for the things I enjoy, like this for example. Reading and writing are two of the things I love, and I don't do enough of it - everything else is prioritised above. But what does that do? You just get sucked into the daily grind and lose the sense of who you are. I think that is a big part of why I'm feeling the way I am at the moment. Not leaving the house to go to work - my work and home life literally being in the same place, no change of scenery - I truly believe we're all heading for a mental health avalanche.

I guess what I am trying to get to amongst all my ramblings is take care of yourself - both inside and out. Listen to your body and your mind, rest when you need to, make time to do the things that feed your soul and look for the positives. I'm certainly going to take the time to do it.

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